Again from old (not too old emails)
This year´s annual dispatch finds us in Panama. We were able to construct the following quiz in the few spare minutes that our hectic Caribbean schedule allowed us. Here to help you better understand the demands of such a schedule is a summary of Wednesday{s events. For a geographical understanding of our location Google Bocas Del Toro Panama.
8:00 Wake Up. Lay in hammock for a few minutes. Go downstairs.
8:15 Eat breakfast. Scrambled eggs, cheese, freshly squeezed tropical juice.
8:45 Go upstairs, put on sunblock.
9:00 Get in boat with Captain Faustino. (Interestingly enough when we asked Tino what languages he spoke he told us, three. Spanish, English and Caribbean English. The tricky thing about Capitan Tino was that it took us about three days to figure out anything he said, especially over the roar of his outboard motor. (Dat der is me brudders hoss. Him lib der wit him tree dawter.)
10:00 Stop in the middle of nowhere. Look around hesitatingly. Then, snorkel.
11:00 Flop into boat.
12:00 Stop at beach side restaurant. Snorkel while your lunch is being prepared. Watch out for 5 inch grasshoppers.
1:00 Get into boat. Have some more misunderstandings with Tino.
2:00 Snorkel.
2:45 Flop into boat (On Thursday Tino brought a ladder to minimize flopping and ease our transition from sea to boat)
3:00 Snorkel
4:00 Flop into boat. Engage Tino in a discussion about politics and development of the Bocas del Toro area.
4:30 Arrive at hotel.
5:00 Shower (maybe)
5:15 Hammock time. Check guide book of tropical fish and attempt to determine what type of parrotfish you saw and if Faith really saw sharks.
5:31 Think about work.
5:31 and 12 seconds. Stop thinking about work.
7:00 Go downstairs for dinner.
8:00 Hammock time. Maybe walk around town.
9:30 Sleep.
From the depths of the hammock we have created this quiz for all of you all the way from the home of the canal and Noriega.
Choose the best answer:
1) Saladino is:
a. a spicy sausage usually eaten with breakfast.
b. a derogatory name for a Panamanian Chinese person.
c. the last name of the first Panamanian to win a gold medal.
2) A phrase which could best describe the taxi driver who brought us from the airport to the hotel is:
a. What he lacks in personality he makes up for in velocity.
b. What he lacks in personality he makes up for in wardrobe.
c. What he lacks in personailty he makes up for in numerous religious dashboard accoutrements.
3) The slightly overweight Panamanian woman walking down the street is wearing a tight t-shirt that says:
a. Sexy Back
b. 50% single
c. Go Green
4) In this Internet cafe there is a:
a. A shirtless man selling iguanas.
b. A woman breastfeeding two children at the same time.
c. A woman selling health shakes.
5) OPEN ENDED QUESTION Your hotel has published an itemized list of over 20 potential fines for damage to items in the room. How much will it cost you if you damage a hanger? How about the phonebook?
6) Choose what types of modifications you would most likely choose for a school bus which you will now be using as a city bus:
a. An airbrushed picture of Snoop Dogg, Shakira or your daughter Maria Elena on the back of the emergency exit door.
b. Two enormous stove pipe exhausts that frame the airbrushed picture.
c. Plastic shark fins on the roof.
d. Blinking or strobe light mounted on the dashboard or the hood.
7) Your flight from the capital to Bocas del Toro leaves at 6:35am. The travel agency guide picks you up at:
a. Never
b. 6:25am
c. 7:00am
8) If you were to miss your flight to Bocas Del Toro because the guide had to *change a flat tire* (even though he had not a sign of grease, dirt, or other tire changing filth on him), he would:
a. pay for another flight leaving only a few minutes later.
b. recommend that you pay for the flight and he will gladly pay you back on Thursday because he could definitely get fired for this.
c. run.
Answers:
1 C
2 A
3 A and B
4 C
5 $2.50 and $5.00
6 A,B,C, and D
7 B
8 B
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Dispatch from the Dominican Republic
Sorting through some old emails, I came upon a dispatch from the past.
Favorite quote in Newark airport:
No, no hold my hand or I´ll put that leash on you.
There is no modern romance:
You will recall that there has been, in both Guatemala and Mexico, a certain fondness for the witty Tshirt slogan. Perhaps you remember the woman proudly wearing:
Con esa carne ni pide frijoles (With this meat you won´t order beans)
Unfortunately, the witty Tshirt has either gone out of style or not yet reached its apex in the Dominican Republic.
We would, however, like to designate our favorite thus far:
Orgasm Donor
Worn by a 30 something year old woman with two small children about 2 and 4 years of age.
Our favorite street sign thus far:
Peligro de Tiro (Danger of Bullet)
Quick Quiz
What can you put on a moped?
a) two tourists and a guide named Juan
b) three crates of fruit
c) a family of four including a grandmother and a toddler
d) three voluptuous teenage girls with high heels and tight jeans
e) a propane tank
f) all of the above
g) all of the above at the same time
h) none of the above
The correct answer is F but we are trying to organize a competition to test if G is actually possible.
2) What does No, Gracias mean?
a) Ok I will bring you on the tour.
b) Ok I will follow you to your hotel and then bring you on the tour.
c) Ok Let me ask you again. And after you say No Gracias again I will bring you on my tour.
d) All of the above
Correct answer is D. I bet you got it.
3) Your taxi:
a) Has a gas tank in the trunk.
b) Very dim interior lights, a broken gas meter, a broken speedometer, and a driver that describes multiple things including Dominican baseball as FUERTE (strong)
c) Has just navigated what appeared to be about a 9 way uncontrolled intersection although it would be hard to tell excatly how many vehicles were involved because half of them had no headlights while the others had their highbeams on.
d) driver´s name is Alejandro.
e) All of the above.
Here there is no correct answer (tricked you) but the best answer is E because sometimes his name could be Gustavo or Roberto.
Favorite quote in Newark airport:
No, no hold my hand or I´ll put that leash on you.
There is no modern romance:
You will recall that there has been, in both Guatemala and Mexico, a certain fondness for the witty Tshirt slogan. Perhaps you remember the woman proudly wearing:
Con esa carne ni pide frijoles (With this meat you won´t order beans)
Unfortunately, the witty Tshirt has either gone out of style or not yet reached its apex in the Dominican Republic.
We would, however, like to designate our favorite thus far:
Orgasm Donor
Worn by a 30 something year old woman with two small children about 2 and 4 years of age.
Our favorite street sign thus far:
Peligro de Tiro (Danger of Bullet)
Quick Quiz
What can you put on a moped?
a) two tourists and a guide named Juan
b) three crates of fruit
c) a family of four including a grandmother and a toddler
d) three voluptuous teenage girls with high heels and tight jeans
e) a propane tank
f) all of the above
g) all of the above at the same time
h) none of the above
The correct answer is F but we are trying to organize a competition to test if G is actually possible.
2) What does No, Gracias mean?
a) Ok I will bring you on the tour.
b) Ok I will follow you to your hotel and then bring you on the tour.
c) Ok Let me ask you again. And after you say No Gracias again I will bring you on my tour.
d) All of the above
Correct answer is D. I bet you got it.
3) Your taxi:
a) Has a gas tank in the trunk.
b) Very dim interior lights, a broken gas meter, a broken speedometer, and a driver that describes multiple things including Dominican baseball as FUERTE (strong)
c) Has just navigated what appeared to be about a 9 way uncontrolled intersection although it would be hard to tell excatly how many vehicles were involved because half of them had no headlights while the others had their highbeams on.
d) driver´s name is Alejandro.
e) All of the above.
Here there is no correct answer (tricked you) but the best answer is E because sometimes his name could be Gustavo or Roberto.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Guatemala: Multiple Choice
Choose the best answer.
1) In the pueblo of San Miguel you may encounter:
a) A 41 year old woman with a 6 month old child.
b) A 41 year old woman with a 6 month old child who after a particularly difficult Caesarian section was pronounced dead by doctors, moved to a room in which the deceased are placed and later found to show a sign of life by a doctor in the room and then was subsequently revived.
c) A 41 year old woman with a 6 month old child who after a particularly difficult Caesarian section was pronounced dead by doctors, moved to a room in which the deceased are placed and later found to show a sign of life by a doctor in the room and then was subsequently revived. She now lives in a dirt floor house that is about the size of my living room with 5 children and an alcoholic husband.
d) A 41 year old woman with a 6 month old child who after a particularly difficult Caesarian section was pronounced dead by doctors, moved to a room in which the deceased are placed and later found to show a sign of life by a doctor in the room and then was subsequently revived. She now lives in a dirt floor house that is about the size of my living room with 5 children and an alcoholic husband. She can´t afford medicine and instead purchases something called Gotas Maravillosas (Wonderful/Miraculous Drops) from the pharmacy to treat illness of the lungs, stomach, and eyes.
e) None of the above.
2) After a particularly heavy downpour you find that the road which leads to your hotel is now blocked by a quick moving ¨impromptu¨ river approximately 8 feet wide. You decide to:
a) Try to jump it and risk being swept away at the delight of the dozen of so people waiting to cross.
b) Get on the back of a dirt bike as he speeds through the water.
c) Yell to a couple in a pickup truck that there is a river in the road and jump in the back.
d) Hold on to the back of a school bus as it crosses the flood
e) Wait for government officials to contract the construction of a bridge.
3) Customs officials in the Guatemala City airport:
a) Do not exist
b) Check everyone´s bags with great concern and patience.
c) Will only check your bags if you have checked YES indicating that you are carrying something that should be taxed.
d) Will only check your bags if you have checked YES indicating that you are carrying something that should be taxed and if you actually hand said form to an official unfolded and are more than three steps from the exit.
4) The noises the keep you from sleeping could be:
a) The natural bacteria of your digestive system waging loud and cacophonous war against strange invaders.
b) The animal that is searching your backpack for something to eat.
c) The buses that begin honking at the other buses that are honking at the other buses that are honking at the bus in which there is a man yelling something unintelligible at the top of his lungs at 4am.
d) A terrible suctioning noise radiating from the toilet attempting to refill itself, a problem which appears to be a result of poor water pressure and the only resolution is to slowly, agonizingly fill a Gatorade bottle with water with the same low, low pressure in order to dump in the tank of the toilet.
e) All of the above
Correct answers:
1) D
2) B,C, or D
3) D
4) E
1) In the pueblo of San Miguel you may encounter:
a) A 41 year old woman with a 6 month old child.
b) A 41 year old woman with a 6 month old child who after a particularly difficult Caesarian section was pronounced dead by doctors, moved to a room in which the deceased are placed and later found to show a sign of life by a doctor in the room and then was subsequently revived.
c) A 41 year old woman with a 6 month old child who after a particularly difficult Caesarian section was pronounced dead by doctors, moved to a room in which the deceased are placed and later found to show a sign of life by a doctor in the room and then was subsequently revived. She now lives in a dirt floor house that is about the size of my living room with 5 children and an alcoholic husband.
d) A 41 year old woman with a 6 month old child who after a particularly difficult Caesarian section was pronounced dead by doctors, moved to a room in which the deceased are placed and later found to show a sign of life by a doctor in the room and then was subsequently revived. She now lives in a dirt floor house that is about the size of my living room with 5 children and an alcoholic husband. She can´t afford medicine and instead purchases something called Gotas Maravillosas (Wonderful/Miraculous Drops) from the pharmacy to treat illness of the lungs, stomach, and eyes.
e) None of the above.
2) After a particularly heavy downpour you find that the road which leads to your hotel is now blocked by a quick moving ¨impromptu¨ river approximately 8 feet wide. You decide to:
a) Try to jump it and risk being swept away at the delight of the dozen of so people waiting to cross.
b) Get on the back of a dirt bike as he speeds through the water.
c) Yell to a couple in a pickup truck that there is a river in the road and jump in the back.
d) Hold on to the back of a school bus as it crosses the flood
e) Wait for government officials to contract the construction of a bridge.
3) Customs officials in the Guatemala City airport:
a) Do not exist
b) Check everyone´s bags with great concern and patience.
c) Will only check your bags if you have checked YES indicating that you are carrying something that should be taxed.
d) Will only check your bags if you have checked YES indicating that you are carrying something that should be taxed and if you actually hand said form to an official unfolded and are more than three steps from the exit.
4) The noises the keep you from sleeping could be:
a) The natural bacteria of your digestive system waging loud and cacophonous war against strange invaders.
b) The animal that is searching your backpack for something to eat.
c) The buses that begin honking at the other buses that are honking at the other buses that are honking at the bus in which there is a man yelling something unintelligible at the top of his lungs at 4am.
d) A terrible suctioning noise radiating from the toilet attempting to refill itself, a problem which appears to be a result of poor water pressure and the only resolution is to slowly, agonizingly fill a Gatorade bottle with water with the same low, low pressure in order to dump in the tank of the toilet.
e) All of the above
Correct answers:
1) D
2) B,C, or D
3) D
4) E
Are You There God It's Me, Dan
I wake with an overwhelming sensation that I am a volcano.
My ¨volcanoness¨, however, destroys the boundaries that normally constrain the ordinary volcano. I shall either be exploding up or down or perhaps both although I am hoping that if that happens that it is not simultaneously.
This predicament is particularly unnerving considering at 4:00am I will be on a bus to the airport then on a plane then on another bus to Tikal the Mayan ruins in the north of the country.
Interesting side notes:
Hotel Doña Angelina´s toilet is so close to the wall you are actually able to rest your forehead against the wall while seated.
Hostal Calle Real´s toilet is so close to the sink you are actually able to rest your cheek on it and would, if the water were potable, probably be able to sip water out of the faucet while seated.
I decide that before I begin formulating strategy about the best seat to be puking out a window from in a bus, that I will speak to God.
Here is the transcript:
¨Ring¨, ¨Ring¨
GOD: Halo?
DAN: Hello, God it´s me Dan.
GOD: Usted ha comunicado con el Centro de Mensajes para Dios, Marque numero 1 para el Ingles, para continuar en Espanol Marque Numero 2
Dan presses Number 1 and is redirected.
Phone Picks Up.
DAN: Hello, God it´s me Dan.
GOD (with Indian accent): I know who it is.
DAN: That´s right sorry, look I was wondering if you could help me out here.
GOD: What´s seems to be the problem?
DAN: Well, I am in Guatemala and my stomach is killing me.
GOD: I made Guatemala, how do you like it so far?
DAN: It´s great but I was wondering if you could do something for my stomach at least until I get off the bus in Tikal.
GOD: Can you hold on a minute, I have another call.
DAN: Ok
Marimba music playing.
GOD: Ok sorry I´m back. You there?
DAN: Yeah, Im here.
GOD: Sorry, it´s really busy here, that was a woman who I brought back from the dead a while ago. Has like 5 kids and an alcoholic husband. When it rains it poors. She is always calling to thank me. Got a fruit basket from her the other day.
DAN: ¨Groan in pain¨
GOD: Can you verfiy your mother´s maiden name?
DAN: It´s Ferrante.
GOD: Ok, everything is right here. Ok it is done. Can I tell you about our afterlife savings plan?
My ¨volcanoness¨, however, destroys the boundaries that normally constrain the ordinary volcano. I shall either be exploding up or down or perhaps both although I am hoping that if that happens that it is not simultaneously.
This predicament is particularly unnerving considering at 4:00am I will be on a bus to the airport then on a plane then on another bus to Tikal the Mayan ruins in the north of the country.
Interesting side notes:
Hotel Doña Angelina´s toilet is so close to the wall you are actually able to rest your forehead against the wall while seated.
Hostal Calle Real´s toilet is so close to the sink you are actually able to rest your cheek on it and would, if the water were potable, probably be able to sip water out of the faucet while seated.
I decide that before I begin formulating strategy about the best seat to be puking out a window from in a bus, that I will speak to God.
Here is the transcript:
¨Ring¨, ¨Ring¨
GOD: Halo?
DAN: Hello, God it´s me Dan.
GOD: Usted ha comunicado con el Centro de Mensajes para Dios, Marque numero 1 para el Ingles, para continuar en Espanol Marque Numero 2
Dan presses Number 1 and is redirected.
Phone Picks Up.
DAN: Hello, God it´s me Dan.
GOD (with Indian accent): I know who it is.
DAN: That´s right sorry, look I was wondering if you could help me out here.
GOD: What´s seems to be the problem?
DAN: Well, I am in Guatemala and my stomach is killing me.
GOD: I made Guatemala, how do you like it so far?
DAN: It´s great but I was wondering if you could do something for my stomach at least until I get off the bus in Tikal.
GOD: Can you hold on a minute, I have another call.
DAN: Ok
Marimba music playing.
GOD: Ok sorry I´m back. You there?
DAN: Yeah, Im here.
GOD: Sorry, it´s really busy here, that was a woman who I brought back from the dead a while ago. Has like 5 kids and an alcoholic husband. When it rains it poors. She is always calling to thank me. Got a fruit basket from her the other day.
DAN: ¨Groan in pain¨
GOD: Can you verfiy your mother´s maiden name?
DAN: It´s Ferrante.
GOD: Ok, everything is right here. Ok it is done. Can I tell you about our afterlife savings plan?
Guatemala by the Numbers
Number of amputees/people missing limbs encountered in the first 12 hours in Antigua = 4
Percentage of said amputees/people missing limbs using a skateboard as transportation = 25%
Number of blatant breast feeding incidents that occurred within 3 feet of me before leaving the US = 1
Number of loud, verbal altercations over switching seats on a flight between Newark and Charlotte which involved a female flight attendant yelling ¨Bullshit¨ = 1
Number of times which visibility decreased by at least half as our shuttle from the capital to Antigua was engulfed by a bus belching diesel smoke = 2
Approximate number of balloons decorating buses, taxis, these weird motorized rickshaw like things and other passenger vehicles on Sunday to celebrate national Dia del Chofer (Day of the driver) = too many to count
Number of vehicles which had the following words written on the top of the front windshield, Maycol Shackson = 1
Percentage of weddings we have seen involving a horse and a fire truck = 100%
Approximate number of people on a repainted/redecorated school bus that I rode to avoid the rain = 90
Number of religious items including, of course, the Virgin of Guadalupe, and Jesus nailed to the cross, within 1 foot of the driver = at least 6
My favorite quote thus far: My mother is 91 years old. She lives here with me but she is not here right now she is delivering a baby. She is a midwife.
Some of you will recall last year´s survey concerning the abundance of T-shirts with witty sayings in Mexico. This year we´ve moved a bit further south and find that unfortunately such shirts are A) not as prevalent and B) just not as witty. Let´s take a look at what they´re wearing.
CERVEZA POR FAVOR! 30 something attractive Guatemalan woman.
I CAN BE YOUR PRIVATE DANCER 20 something Spanish guy.
CRANKY (with sad looking monkey face) 15 year old Guatemalan girl
SUPERHERO IN TRAINING Teenage boy
HANDS UP PLAY DISCO Teenage girl
Percentage of said amputees/people missing limbs using a skateboard as transportation = 25%
Number of blatant breast feeding incidents that occurred within 3 feet of me before leaving the US = 1
Number of loud, verbal altercations over switching seats on a flight between Newark and Charlotte which involved a female flight attendant yelling ¨Bullshit¨ = 1
Number of times which visibility decreased by at least half as our shuttle from the capital to Antigua was engulfed by a bus belching diesel smoke = 2
Approximate number of balloons decorating buses, taxis, these weird motorized rickshaw like things and other passenger vehicles on Sunday to celebrate national Dia del Chofer (Day of the driver) = too many to count
Number of vehicles which had the following words written on the top of the front windshield, Maycol Shackson = 1
Percentage of weddings we have seen involving a horse and a fire truck = 100%
Approximate number of people on a repainted/redecorated school bus that I rode to avoid the rain = 90
Number of religious items including, of course, the Virgin of Guadalupe, and Jesus nailed to the cross, within 1 foot of the driver = at least 6
My favorite quote thus far: My mother is 91 years old. She lives here with me but she is not here right now she is delivering a baby. She is a midwife.
Some of you will recall last year´s survey concerning the abundance of T-shirts with witty sayings in Mexico. This year we´ve moved a bit further south and find that unfortunately such shirts are A) not as prevalent and B) just not as witty. Let´s take a look at what they´re wearing.
CERVEZA POR FAVOR! 30 something attractive Guatemalan woman.
I CAN BE YOUR PRIVATE DANCER 20 something Spanish guy.
CRANKY (with sad looking monkey face) 15 year old Guatemalan girl
SUPERHERO IN TRAINING Teenage boy
HANDS UP PLAY DISCO Teenage girl
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Sanctions
I have imposed economic sanctions on the following entities and encourage other upstanding individuals to do the same.
1) Quiznos (especially the one in Highland Park)
Keep corporate chain/shit food out of my downtown.
2) Carvel (especially the one in Highland Park)
Keep corporate chain and Cookie Puss out of my town particularly when there is a great sweet shop which serves ice cream and has outdoor seating two blocks away.
I'll harpoon Fudgie the Whale.
3) Pad Thai
They remodeled and now the tables are as close as tables in Manhattan, where you might just accidently put your elbow in the person's plate at the next table over.
They'll charge you $3.50 for an extra bowl of rice and stand over you reminding you to leave a tip while you sign the credit card slip.
4) Banditos
This is a "Mexican" restaurant on Route 1. It bills itself as "The Margarita Factory". I have no concrete information concerning their drinks but I will say when the waiter asks, "Is the food...alright?" By the tone in his voice, he is hoping that your salty, soggy enchiladas are something approaching an alright rating.
Which they are not.
1) Quiznos (especially the one in Highland Park)
Keep corporate chain/shit food out of my downtown.
2) Carvel (especially the one in Highland Park)
Keep corporate chain and Cookie Puss out of my town particularly when there is a great sweet shop which serves ice cream and has outdoor seating two blocks away.
I'll harpoon Fudgie the Whale.
3) Pad Thai
They remodeled and now the tables are as close as tables in Manhattan, where you might just accidently put your elbow in the person's plate at the next table over.
They'll charge you $3.50 for an extra bowl of rice and stand over you reminding you to leave a tip while you sign the credit card slip.
4) Banditos
This is a "Mexican" restaurant on Route 1. It bills itself as "The Margarita Factory". I have no concrete information concerning their drinks but I will say when the waiter asks, "Is the food...alright?" By the tone in his voice, he is hoping that your salty, soggy enchiladas are something approaching an alright rating.
Which they are not.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Scam
I hate these hoax warnings, but this one is important!!!
If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and
asks you to show him your bum, DO NOT show him your bum.
This is a scam, he only wants to see your bum.
I wish I got this yesterday. I feel so stupid and cheap.
If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and
asks you to show him your bum, DO NOT show him your bum.
This is a scam, he only wants to see your bum.
I wish I got this yesterday. I feel so stupid and cheap.
T-Shirts and Buses
A)
The t-shirt with funny catch phrase has apparently found a home south of the border in the wilds of Mexico.
Here is a selection:
MY BOYFRIEND IS AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND (In English, teenage Mexican girl)
CON ESA CARNE NI PIDE FRIJOLES Translation WITH THIS MEAT YOU WON'T NEED TO ORDER BEANS (30 something Mexican woman with child in tow)
LET OFF A LITTLE STEAM (a faded purple, in English 50/60 something Mexican man wearing cowboy boots and hat)
TU MAMA ME EXITA Translation YOUR MOTHER EXCITES ME (Teenage Mexican boy)
I´m considering a photo essay.
B) Main differences between intercity buses, Mexico in comparison to Ecuador.
Glowing Jesus plaques are replaced by Virgen de Guadalupe plaques
No stickers involving either Calvin or Hobbes pissing on something.
Bus driver has no sign indicating that hot chicks can sit up front.
Our Mexican driver at no time steered with his knee while trying to simultaneously kill a mosquito, turn the volume up on the radio, and make change for passengers entering the bus while on a mountain road with no guardrails. (no fun at all)
Both places however there is a propensity towards on board movies involving a celebrity no more powerful than say Stephen Baldwin and a plot no more interesting or intriguing than how a bunch of teens from Australia formed a tap dance group in a metal forging factory.
Also, in similar fashion fellow passengers are apt to have hamburgers or other spoilable food in their pocketbooks which they will eat at various time through out the trip.
The t-shirt with funny catch phrase has apparently found a home south of the border in the wilds of Mexico.
Here is a selection:
MY BOYFRIEND IS AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND (In English, teenage Mexican girl)
CON ESA CARNE NI PIDE FRIJOLES Translation WITH THIS MEAT YOU WON'T NEED TO ORDER BEANS (30 something Mexican woman with child in tow)
LET OFF A LITTLE STEAM (a faded purple, in English 50/60 something Mexican man wearing cowboy boots and hat)
TU MAMA ME EXITA Translation YOUR MOTHER EXCITES ME (Teenage Mexican boy)
I´m considering a photo essay.
B) Main differences between intercity buses, Mexico in comparison to Ecuador.
Glowing Jesus plaques are replaced by Virgen de Guadalupe plaques
No stickers involving either Calvin or Hobbes pissing on something.
Bus driver has no sign indicating that hot chicks can sit up front.
Our Mexican driver at no time steered with his knee while trying to simultaneously kill a mosquito, turn the volume up on the radio, and make change for passengers entering the bus while on a mountain road with no guardrails. (no fun at all)
Both places however there is a propensity towards on board movies involving a celebrity no more powerful than say Stephen Baldwin and a plot no more interesting or intriguing than how a bunch of teens from Australia formed a tap dance group in a metal forging factory.
Also, in similar fashion fellow passengers are apt to have hamburgers or other spoilable food in their pocketbooks which they will eat at various time through out the trip.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Post-Modernism
Various convention defying sentences produced by my students and the convention which they defy.
I am going to yesterday. (linear time)
I am the appointment. (essence)
Then I ga probles for rething. Mi's trweig bicos I nidy for wook. (spelling rules)
Translation:
(Then I got problems for writing. I'm trying because I need it for work.)
I am going to yesterday. (linear time)
I am the appointment. (essence)
Then I ga probles for rething. Mi's trweig bicos I nidy for wook. (spelling rules)
Translation:
(Then I got problems for writing. I'm trying because I need it for work.)
Friday, May 27, 2005
50 Words or Less #1
Between Laughs
I broke up with her late one night while we were together in bed.
I actually proposed that she should write a 50 word story about it.
She sent me the story.
I told her that she should at least give me a dedication.
Perhaps just “for him”.
I broke up with her late one night while we were together in bed.
I actually proposed that she should write a 50 word story about it.
She sent me the story.
I told her that she should at least give me a dedication.
Perhaps just “for him”.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
