Dispatch from the Dominican Republic

Sorting through some old emails, I came upon a dispatch from the past.


Favorite quote in Newark airport:
No, no hold my hand or I´ll put that leash on you.

There is no modern romance:
You will recall that there has been, in both Guatemala and Mexico, a certain fondness for the witty Tshirt slogan. Perhaps you remember the woman proudly wearing:

Con esa carne ni pide frijoles (With this meat you won´t order beans)

Unfortunately, the witty Tshirt has either gone out of style or not yet reached its apex in the Dominican Republic.

We would, however, like to designate our favorite thus far:

Orgasm Donor

Worn by a 30 something year old woman with two small children about 2 and 4 years of age.


Our favorite street sign thus far:

Peligro de Tiro (Danger of Bullet)


Quick Quiz

What can you put on a moped?

a) two tourists and a guide named Juan
b) three crates of fruit
c) a family of four including a grandmother and a toddler
d) three voluptuous teenage girls with high heels and tight jeans
e) a propane tank
f) all of the above
g) all of the above at the same time
h) none of the above

The correct answer is F but we are trying to organize a competition to test if G is actually possible.

2) What does No, Gracias mean?
a) Ok I will bring you on the tour.
b) Ok I will follow you to your hotel and then bring you on the tour.
c) Ok Let me ask you again. And after you say No Gracias again I will bring you on my tour.
d) All of the above


Correct answer is D. I bet you got it.

3) Your taxi:
a) Has a gas tank in the trunk.
b) Very dim interior lights, a broken gas meter, a broken speedometer, and a driver that describes multiple things including Dominican baseball as FUERTE (strong)
c) Has just navigated what appeared to be about a 9 way uncontrolled intersection although it would be hard to tell excatly how many vehicles were involved because half of them had no headlights while the others had their highbeams on.
d) driver´s name is Alejandro.
e) All of the above.


Here there is no correct answer (tricked you) but the best answer is E because sometimes his name could be Gustavo or Roberto.