Guatemala by the Numbers

Number of amputees/people missing limbs encountered in the first 12 hours in Antigua = 4

Percentage of said amputees/people missing limbs using a skateboard as transportation = 25%

Number of blatant breast feeding incidents that occurred within 3 feet of me before leaving the US = 1

Number of loud, verbal altercations over switching seats on a flight between Newark and Charlotte which involved a female flight attendant yelling ¨Bullshit¨ = 1

Number of times which visibility decreased by at least half as our shuttle from the capital to Antigua was engulfed by a bus belching diesel smoke = 2

Approximate number of balloons decorating buses, taxis, these weird motorized rickshaw like things and other passenger vehicles on Sunday to celebrate national Dia del Chofer (Day of the driver) = too many to count

Number of vehicles which had the following words written on the top of the front windshield, Maycol Shackson = 1

Percentage of weddings we have seen involving a horse and a fire truck = 100%

Approximate number of people on a repainted/redecorated school bus that I rode to avoid the rain = 90

Number of religious items including, of course, the Virgin of Guadalupe, and Jesus nailed to the cross, within 1 foot of the driver = at least 6


My favorite quote thus far: My mother is 91 years old. She lives here with me but she is not here right now she is delivering a baby. She is a midwife.


Some of you will recall last year´s survey concerning the abundance of T-shirts with witty sayings in Mexico. This year we´ve moved a bit further south and find that unfortunately such shirts are A) not as prevalent and B) just not as witty. Let´s take a look at what they´re wearing.

CERVEZA POR FAVOR! 30 something attractive Guatemalan woman.

I CAN BE YOUR PRIVATE DANCER 20 something Spanish guy.

CRANKY (with sad looking monkey face) 15 year old Guatemalan girl

SUPERHERO IN TRAINING Teenage boy

HANDS UP PLAY DISCO Teenage girl